Pokerface
by littlejester
Summary: ‘When you’ve found your pokerface, use it all the time. Never let it falter at any occasion or else you’ll be found out…sooner or later.’ ExT


Hello, peeps! This is just a little something I found in my files that I wrote yonks ago. Thought I'd finish it off and post it up here. ExT of course. My fave! This one's a bit on the sad side so if you don't like evil ends... well I warned ya. There's 2 swear words in the whole thing as far as I know which is why it's rated T. It was kinda started when I felt particulary confused bout my lovely boyfriend. Dumb idiot!! The real life story ended happier than this one, but writing this was my way of preparing for the worst at the time.

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Poker-face

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A heavy sigh was muffled in a soft purple pillow covered with the dark tresses of one Tomoyo Daidouji. It was another of "those days" again. She's been having "those days" for a month now. Each day being as productive as the other and giving her the same results. She rolled over and stared at the ceiling. There was a crack in the left farthest corner that wasn't there before. Maybe she should get that fixed. It could crack further and cause a weakness and that may result in the ceiling caving in and squashing her flat and dead. She scoffed half-bitterly. That _would_ make life easier. She wouldn't have to deal with the stupid thought that had been plaguing her for what seemed like an age. She sighed again. Death never solved anything though. She wasn't suicidal either. That's beyond stupid. She rolled over again and buried her face in the pillows.

Back to her predicament. Would it _be_ a waste of two years of her life? Would this be throwing away something good? Everyone seemed to think everything was fine. Everything _was_ fine. Wasn't it? It seems fine. Nothing's wrong at all. Nothing's wrong at all…

So why doesn't it feel right?

The "perfect couple". Perfect. _Perfect_. She was so lucky. He's everything she wanted along with a couple of bonuses. Sure he had his faults. Who else's faults would he have? Everyone has their faults. She had countless although he always told her she didn't. He was so close to perfect even his flaws weren't bad. Him being _slightly_ blind was hardly a flaw at all! You probably couldn't even _count_ that as a flaw because he was absolutely adorable with his glasses on and _damn_ _hot_ with them off! He was smart as heck but wasn't so smart that she felt over-shadowed by him at all. He was witty. He was charming. He held this… _aura_ that made everyone and anyone like him. She felt close as close can get with him but he still held this mysterious glow around him that kept him interesting. He wasn't too sappy. She hated sap. But he did the occasional sweet thing just enough. Not too much that it didn't mean much but not too infrequent that it made him look like he was up to something.

Another sigh.

One problem she always had with him was, he wasn't hiding anything from her. She knew that as far as she knew anyway. For all she knew he _could_ be hiding something from her but she was too clueless to even notice. He was good at lying. All those years watching him blabber on about facts that only he and Takashi knew. That convincing smile. Always that same convincing smile. He used it all the time; answering questions in class, lying about his homework, lying in general… talking to her. Tomoyo groaned. That damned poker-face of his. He never changed that smile. _'When you've found your poker-face, use it all the time. Never let it falter at any occasion or else you'll be found out…sooner or later.' _Damn him.

The phone rings.

"Hello?"

"_Tomoyo__, it's me."_

Speak of the devil.

"Hey, Error!" that voice. That same sweet, happy voice she always used regardless of how she felt. Those courtesy lessons she was forced into all those years ago when she was little sunk in deep. Tomoyo gritted her teeth and bashed up several things in her head.

"_Yeah, I was wondering if we could talk__."_

Shit. He wants to talk. Has he been thinking the same things she has?

"We're talking now aren't we?" she sarcastically replied.

"_I meant in person, dummy. Can you meet me in the penguin park in 20 minutes?"_

"Now?" Tomoyo groaned. "It's too late now."

"_What do you mean?"_

"It's so late at night, Eriol. I need my sleep you know."

"_Tomoyo?"  
_"Yes?"

"_It's only 5pm."_

"You're not serious," Tomoyo mentally bashed her head against the wall for her stupidity. "Okay then, see you in 20 minutes."

She hung up.

It was cold outside. Tomoyo shivered and pulled the coat around her tighter in a feeble attempt to keep warm as she walked down the path to the park. Everything that's anything usually happens at the park. The familiar silhouette of the penguin slide came into view as she turned the corner. She surveyed the area. He wasn't there.

"Hey, 'Moyo," two strong arms wrapped themselves around her waist from behind.

A shiver ran down her spine. She wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. She didn't answer. She twisted out of his grasp and faced him. The same blue hair, blue eyes… There. That face. That same face that said nothing.

"Eriol," Tomoyo sighed. She wasn't sure what she was going to say or that she was going to say anything at all.

He waited.

"Eriol," she took a deep breath. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" the smile had vanished, but the expression that replaced it still held that same mask that covered anything that he was thinking.

"The same face. The same _fucking face_ you use all the time," Tomoyo felt the blood rush through her veins as her bottled up fury flooded over. Her mouth formed words on their own accord, retelling every tiny detail of thought and mistrust based on the one expression, every lie she thinks he might have made, every moment when she thought that reassuring smile meant she was safe, every moment she realised that she might not be. The words stumbled over each other in a race to finish line where they would be understood.

She looked up at him. He still had the face. After all that, and he still had it plastered to his skull like a tattoo.

"Am I safe, Eriol?" Tomoyo half pleaded to him. For a moment she saw the expression in his face flicker with… hurt.

"No."

He walked away, his poker-face back in place like nothing ever happened.


End file.
